Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks

"Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks."-Forrest Gump

I watched this movie on Saturday. It is one of my all time favorites and I've loved it since I first saw it back in the 90's. I love how Forrest runs to ease his pain over Jenny and then when he feels better, he just runs for the sake of running. I used the quote that I did for this post because it comes from the scene where Jenny is throwing rocks at her father's old house because she is so mad. She throws them until there are no more and all she can do is fall down on the ground and cry. That is where I felt like I have been all week.

My grandmother passed away last Friday. She was 91 and had been in pain for some time so I am glad that she is at peace and in a better place. I've tried to be a support system for my family. It hasn't been easy and stress has been high. By Saturday night I had run out of rocks to throw. Relationships, any type of relationship in life, is hard. God never promised us life would be easy.

Tomorrow I have the Wicked 10K. I am looking forward to getting out of town with my husband and son and to running a race again. I have not trained, I'm not ready for it, but I know that I can do it. I'm hoping that by taking Forrest's approach I can let some of this stress and anger go, because it is only eating away at me. Just being happy and calm is what I enjoy in life so I hope that after tomorrow I can feel a little bit of mental freedom.

exercise, work and life

These past few weeks have been all about getting in a groove for me. After B came along in May I did a lot of sitting and a lot mommy duties, but as we got closer to my maternity leave ending, I needed some kind of routine. B started daycare so I would drop him off for a few hours and take some time for me. It was great. The house got cleaned, groceries were purchased, dinner was made and I made it to the gym 3 times a week. THREE TIMES!!

So this is how I rolled for a few weeks:
Monday-cycling
Tuesday-Body Pump
Wednesday-off
Thursday-off
Friday-Body Pump
Saturday/Sunday-try to get a run in.

It was amazing.

First off, my gym is more like a spa than a gym, so when I finished my workout I went down to the locker room and took a shower in a shower that made me feel like I was in a resort in the Riveria Maya. Then I would take my time getting dressed and drying my hair in front of the Dyson fan that dried my hair better than the hair dryer. It was so relaxing and in a very short amount of time I started to get my strength back and I felt so much better.

I even met with a personal trainer. She said I need to be doing 3 days of cardio and 2 of strength training per week to lose the baby weight and get back in shape. After several months of that we are going to change up the routine and get me marathon ready since my body will need different things at that point.

I am so ready for this. I'm not centering my life around losing weight and obsessing over calories, I hate that. I am focusing on getting in shape and being fit. It's going to take time, it's not going to happen over night, but it would be nice to be able to run a mile in under 10 minutes again and to wear regular pants to work instead of maternity pants.

Then this week I started back at work and my awesome gym routine flew out the window. This has been one tough week. It's been a lot of tears, feelings of guilt and a whole lot of exhaustion. It's been good to see my coworkers again and the kids but I miss my little guy and to make matters worse my grandmother is in the hospital and she's dying. I've been leaving work and going straight over there so I don't even see B until 6:30PM or later. It's making me feel like a terrible mother and I feel stretched incredibly thin emotionally and physically. I'm trying to be there for my dad, my job and my son and I feel like I'm losing myself in the process. Not to mention I've had like no time for my husband who has been amazing and has grabbed the ball I've dropped and just runs with it. I seriously don't know what I would do without him. Lord help me, this is only day 4.

Yesterday afternoon Dad said I didn't have to go to the hospital and since C had taken B to work with him, I just went straight home and went for a run. It's so amazing how much better I felt after that.

Alright, enough with the heavy. I hope that my next post will be much lighter and happier and will involve me getting some exercise and some sleep.

guest blogging!

I know I know....I said I would post and I haven't. It's coming, I promise.

Although this is over a week old at this point, I did a guest post for my friend while she is in Europe! You can read it here.

More to come later about my now dead gym routine and returning work.

new header

Do you like my new header?? I love that I am finally figuring out how to use this new photoshop! I'm not 100% in love with the header, so it may change again soon, we'll see. 

I don't have much time to make a real post other than this because my son is crying for no reason. The evenings are fussy...this is seriously how I blog these days:

 

I just took this picture with my phone. I have to work mostly one handed.
Anyways I will be back soon with a real post I promise. I've got a recipe I want to upload as well as a new workout routine. Also going back to work in a week and you'll get my thoughts on that as well. See you soon!